Posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2006, at 18:02:36
In reply to How to Support and Help, posted by zazenducky on November 25, 2006, at 8:51:04
> I think it is best if I just remove myself from this situation completely. sorry again. I am trying to be honest, but I don't know how to do that and remain correct in the babble way, because I don't understand the rules.
It may best for some posters if they remove themselves, but this is also an opportunity to work on interacting supportively. Which can be hard, and frustrating both for those want help and those who want to help.
Thanks, gardenergirl, for the civility reminder, and zazenducky, for passing on those tips. I think it would help to keep one tip in particular in mind:
* Do not blame the individual
Or, in civility terms, not posting anything that could lead someone to feel accused. Even if they ask in the first place. Being honest isn't always supportive. For example:
> When you posted on the cancer board, did you have cancer? Do you think that has anything to do with why people became upset there?
> you ask for help then reject it.
> When we have acted in such a way or said something that causes a number of others frustration, then I think we need to step back and see how we could have done or said things differently.
> That is what upsets me - your refusal to get help..
> I have to point out a contradiction in what you've written here.
> you rarely respond to the posts of support.
> Tell me you like me. If you don't, I will feel like killing myself.
The idea here is to be supportive. If you're not sure if something will be supportive, one thing you can do is ask yourself how you think the other person will react. If you think they'll appreciate it, that's a sign that it might be supportive. If you think they won't, that's a sign that it might not.
Also, a lot of what's been posted here has been great, I just wanted to focus on this one issue.
Thanks,
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20061124/msgs/707572.html