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Re: acceptance

Posted by pedrito on May 15, 2005, at 18:09:21

In reply to Re: acceptance » badhaircut, posted by alexandra_k on May 14, 2005, at 6:38:25

> Attempting to stop having certain thoughts is an ironic process. Example: Do NOT think about oranges.
> Did you manage to do it???
> Trying just makes it worse.
> That is an ironic process.
> That is what happens when we try and instruct ourselves not to think about certain things:
> suicide
> how much we hate ourselves
> how depressed we feel
> oranges.
> Its not about being mentally unwell
> Its a fact about human cognition.

- lol. I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THINKING ABOUT LAWNMOWERS - YES, SIR!

> Ah.
> But you can.
> The trick isn't to try and make yourself stop thinking...
> The trick is to take all of your attention
> Everybit of it that you can muster
> And focus on how your breathing FEELS.
> It isn't that your thoughts stop.
> It is that all you are aware of is how your breathing feels.
> Mostly I feel a kind of dual-awareness.
> I'm focusing everything I can on how my breathing feels
> But... out of the corner of my mind little clouds of thoughts float past.
> After a while you can even watch them
> In a spirit of 'I am observing my thoughts' in a 'I am not my thoughts they are merely one thing going on' kind of way.
> Guess what?
> They come and go.
> But if they come
> And you grab 'em and say 'go away little thought' over and over
> You only make it hang around.
> If you just observe the fact that it came...
> WEll.
> Then it will pass.
> It might come back
> a hundred times.
> But each time...
> It passes.
> Good thoughts come too.
> I used to cling to those.
> But then I found that I actually learned a whole heap more by resisting the temptation to cling to them.
>
> This is all really hard to explain in a coherent way that doesn't run into paradox.
>
> But I do think there is sense in it.

- Cool. So do you find this technique helpful? Has it helped lift your mood? Have you found the troubling thoughts decrease in frequency? Is your quality of life higher now?

This seems a technique that could sit quite nicely alongside some REBT style beliefs. E.g. upon receiving a really nasty thought:
There's that thought again. I really wish I didn't have these thoughts but there's no law of the universe dictating that I mustn't. They're unpleasant and difficult to bear at times but I can bear it and will do so.

pete


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