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Re: acceptance

Posted by pedrito on May 15, 2005, at 17:46:21

In reply to acceptance » alexandra_k, posted by badhaircut on May 14, 2005, at 1:26:35

> Attempts to push a thought aside, hide it, stuff it back in, vilify it, or even forcibly disbelieve it, will both (a) hijack a lot of mental resources and (b) ironically intensify the unwelcome thought.

- Amen.

> ACT realizes that people will have much better lives if they're NOT stewing in a corner with their thoughts of self-hatred or their irrational beliefs or whatever, but it insists that no one can control her own thoughts & feelings very much without enormous, life-destroying costs. Give up on that, it says.

- I read that ACT was radical but that still sounds insane to a hardened thought-fighter like myself. However, considering that I've been working my t*ts off at various belief/thought-attacking therapies for probably 5 years now and still have a crap quality of life, I'm all ears.

>
> So then, why would anyone write a book about ACT!
>
> This is my summary, not the authors': The less effort is made to control thoughts (bad OR good), the more freedom there is for thoughts of all kinds, including helpful, happy, creative, loving, productive ones, to occur. As you say, they come unchosen. I think in a sense the "better" thoughts are always there, it's just hard to see them when one is struggling for control over the others. If one allows them all to be there, to come & go, freely plaguing & vexing, then the brighter ones can also occur more freely & frequently than they do when one is busy pushing & pulling the darker ones all out of shape.

- This is very interesting. I know for a fact that my CBT/REBT "defences" are like a house of cards. Once one of these unwelcome/unhealthy thoughts comes in, the whole defence collapses. Additionally I then generate a deluge of unwelcome thoughts that I just can't repel.

I guess the key, which is something that Alexandra alluded to earlier, is to somehow learn not to pay the unwelcome thoughts much attention, to learn how to treat them just as thoughts. To "bend like a willow" and watch the thought go whizzing past. A bit like an Agent in the Matrix =0) (God, how tragic do I sound...)

>
> With more thoughts of all kinds "at the ready," one can act more effectively to improve the life that's *outside* of the head.

- Well that'd be just top-banana. bhc - have you tried these techniques? have you had much success?

pete


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