Posted by badhaircut on May 14, 2005, at 11:40:17
In reply to Re: acceptance » badhaircut, posted by alexandra_k on May 14, 2005, at 6:38:25
> But is it that they 'don't care' or that they don't wet themselves with excitement as a CBT therapist tends to???
LOL.
> >But ACT ... allows him to go on judging himself harshly...
> How do you mean 'allows him to'??? Do you mean the t doesn't insist on making the client stoppit???Yes, exactly.
> Attempting to stop having certain thoughts is an ironic process.
> Example: Do NOT think about oranges.
> Did you manage to do it???
> Trying just makes it worse.For sure! I found a really neat book about that: "White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts" by Daniel Wegner. It's not a therapy book, but it has applications to therapy. He suggests you "invite the thought back in" as the only way to deal with it.
> Its not about being mentally unwell
> Its a fact about human cognition.Amen!!
> Oh oh oh!!!
> This sounds a bit like mindfulness meditation...Yes, ACT is in that ballpark. The authors put out a book with other mindfulness-type therapists like Marsha Linehan (DBT guru) and Zindel Segal and others. They're calling themselves the "third wave" of behavior therapy. First there was mean old behavior therapy, then thought-attacking CBT, now various mindfulness techniques. ("Mindfulness and Acceptance: Expanding the Cognitive-Behavioral Tradition")
> It isn't that your thoughts stop.
> It is that all you are aware of is how your breathing feels.
> Mostly I feel a kind of dual-awareness.
> I'm focusing everything I can on how my breathing feels
> But... out of the corner of my mind little clouds of thoughts float past.
> After a while you can even watch themYes. I am becoming more aware of the "observer-I." For example, Thursday I was too anxious or whatever to leave my house (yet again!). But I was able to step back from my feelings & beliefs a little without giving them up. My usual thought "I'M A JACKASS!!" came up. I observed it sorta like a cloud, as you say, but it didn't float past, it just enveloped me like a mist — and stayed. But I saw it as separate from me, from observer-me. I thought something like, "I see myself and I may be a jackass. I see I have jackass-feelings. I can watch myself leave the house and 'be' a jackass outside..." So I did, I went outside and observed myself feeling and –sorta– being a jackass. I was not quite indifferent to it: 'being' a jackass did not feel good. But better feelings were no longer my target. I was outside.
Logically, I know I'm not a jackass (well, not very often one). But my heartfelt belief is that I am the braying Jackass King. Doing this mindfulness tactic Thursday, I was surprised to see how much I struggle against this belief — I try to avoid it over & over all day long. So much energy goes into this.
"Do THIS and you won't be a jackass!"
"Do THAT and you won't care if you're a jackass!"
"Oh god! You did that one wrong! YOU JACKASS!!"> Good thoughts come too.
> I used to cling to those.
> But then I found that I actually learned a whole heap more by resisting the temptation to cling to themIt's interesting. The good thoughts can loose their "effect" as quickly as the bad ones.
> This is all really hard to explain in a coherent way that doesn't run into paradox
Very hard to talk about. I'm glad you take the time to do it.
poster:badhaircut
thread:492810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/books/20050501/msgs/497688.html