Posted by susan47 on August 5, 2006, at 9:50:06
In reply to Re: » susan47, posted by Estella on August 4, 2006, at 3:10:13
> So progress is being made. But it is hard. And it is different. I guess the different theorietical orientation makes it a bit different too. The p-docs were more psychodynamic and so talking a bit about past stuff. Talking about stuff that... I can't really remember. Talking about my conception of the voices and stuff like that. Now... There is more focus on the present on the here and now. Trauma involves past ruminations yes but there are ways of strengthening your ability to not get caught in it. How much does processing it how much does talking about it help one move through and beyond it? Well... The jury is still out on that one.For me, when I saw this counsellor the other day, she was so intensely empathetic and had such insight, that I felt better right away. Cried on the way home a bit, but in essence felt a bit of strength, and compassion, for myself. Ew. Ack. Ah. So, for me it is about processing not just the deep past but the immediate past as well, and the present, how I'm affected in the now. Because my now, for the most part, is horrible. And I know that a child of mine is struggling with deep pain as well. He's getting therapy. I'm so happy, I pushed the idea on him until he realized it might be valid.. and now though watching his pain is going to be really hard. And I have to be open to it, and I have to let him know that somehow, I understand how deeply he hurts, and I understand my responsibility in it, and I would never repeat the past as it was, if I could do it over again, because he is an incredible person who deserved better. Then I would tell him that he can use the depth of his pain and experience, to love and understand life and help others.
I don't know. Life is just so hard sometimes. And lonely.
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> > With, for example, the feeling of being unacceptable to them or laughable or unattractive or totally always being judged by them?
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> Is that just how you feel around men, or is it how you feel about people more generally?
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> > I am the only person I am not hard enough on.
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> I don't think being hard on yourself is likely to result in your feeling any better or likely to result in your doing anything better... Rather I think that being hard on yourself is likely to make things a whole heap worse. Sometimes... It is kindness that is the cure. Being kind to ourselves. Having other people around who are kind to us.
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> > But we haven't really chatted much at all.
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> Alex.
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> I'm glad you are going to get some help. You are doing okay you know. Sounds like reaching out for a little help is taking care of yourself. Sounds like you are doing what you need to take care of yourself about now. Sometimes... We need a little help. Sometimes... Everybody needs a little help. I don't think there is any shame in that. We are social animals. We are supposed to be social. We are supposed to be able to rely on others a little and have others who rely on us a little. Part of people being inter-dependent and inter-connected like we are inter-dependent and inter-connected with our greater environment. symbiotic relationships... homeostasis... my buzzwords for the week. emotions are... the body registering that one isn't in homeostasis... drives are... desires / urges / motivations to return to homeostasis. i do find peace sometimes...
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> (((((((Susan))))))))
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> You are a beautiful person Susan...
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poster:susan47
thread:672459
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060722/msgs/673945.html