Posted by special_k on March 30, 2006, at 7:09:59
In reply to Re: being a bitch again... » special_k, posted by ClearSkies on March 30, 2006, at 3:38:04
thanks. having a hard time. not sure why... just been spinning. for a while now in all honesty. thinking maybe its not so good for me being here. i think about the boards a lot. should be working. i think about my sh*t a lot. should be working. i ruminate a lot. should be socialising with people irl. i don't know what is wrong with me. too many shoulds. other people don't have to have the shoulds. they just do it.
guess i've been ruminating a lot. not so helpful. block triggered stuff off for me. being shut in my room :-( not fit for human company and so on and so forth... and now i get to worrying about bob leaving. and i'm so mad. and i know its my sh*t but there it is. and what am i supposed to do with it? dunno. but if i keep this up i'm only asking for another blocking. and whats he supposed to do?
and yet... i continue. i do. i can see it... but i can't stop it. and he doesn't give a sh*t anyway but i don't think he likes it when people worry about him... and i know i should just shut the f*ck up but that is hard for me (as you know). but it isn't so good for me. it isn't. but then i don't know what i would have done about this place sometimes. and i worry already 'cause i don't spend as much time here as i used to and i don't read as much as i would normally...
and i feel like i'm drifting. and people will forget about me.
and i'm scared :-(
poster:special_k
thread:625944
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060125/msgs/626474.html