Posted by special_k on March 29, 2006, at 4:56:23
i am i have i have been getting in trouble everwhere. should stay in bed not fit... etc. story of my life though and the stories getting thin. people will get sick of it eventually... and move on.
sometimes stuff comes up. and clash of the issues. story of my life too. and what to do... i don't know. if only i didn't have feelings or if only they weren't so intense there probably wouldn't be so much of a problem. but when needs conflict.
and they do.
and conflict... seems to follow me around though that can't be right and it must be me creating it. and somewhere along the lines somewhere into it the issue gets lost anyway and everyone is just mad and i don't know what i'm doing why i'm doing what i'm doing just watch myself doing it and maybe it is about getting others to hate me as much as i hate myself and maybe that is it. 'cause i don't know but people hurt and it isn't safe it isn't safe and i feel scared.
and they will only hate me sooner or later so why waste time why not just get it over with and sometimes i feel peoples hatred seering into me but i don't think it is htem not really it is my hatred for me cause other people
apathetic
unconcerned
removed
oblivioustill i hurt em a little bit then they take notice but what am i doing? i don't know. broken. yup. and while glue helps me function don'tlook too close don't get too close
and i don't know what i want anyways... cept for it all to be over. the end... isn't coming soon enough.
and why does it have to be so hard.
why can't one just will oneself out of existence?
why not?
i don't understand
poster:special_k
thread:625944
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20060125/msgs/625944.html