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Re: Mania's a circle, you know, because it is

Posted by alexandra_k on November 6, 2005, at 5:06:50

In reply to Re: Mania's a circle, you know, because it is » Susan47, posted by zeugma on November 3, 2005, at 19:42:53

i feel funny
some combination of old...
and big.
sometimes my body revolts me
i'm not talking about when i look at it in the mirror or anything like that
but its just that its huge
and grotesque
and wrong
i swear i'm only supposed to be 7
to have a 7 years old body
or something...
but old.
yeah i get that too
emotionally
i think thats the problem
i never grew up emotionally
i push and pull too susan
sometimes you need somebody to be close
you yearn for them you crave them
youd devour them if you could
then something snaps
something changes
and you just need to get away from them
and those feelings are so very intense
and i hate myself for having them
because i can see that from their point of view
im just so very hurtful
and confusing
but from my point of view
i don't know how to make those feelings stop
how to mute them
i don't know

so...
best off...
alone
because then i'm not hurting anybody else
:-(
:-(
:-(
sorry.
thats me.

 

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poster:alexandra_k thread:575153
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20051022/msgs/575899.html