Posted by Susan47 on January 27, 2005, at 12:44:10
In reply to Re: Suze..., posted by Susan47 on January 27, 2005, at 12:35:48
I remember meeting my ex-therapist's wife, once, in a store, and she looked at me kind of superiorly, I know I didn't imagine it, and I remember thinking at that time, "THIS is who he's with???" It was a terrible shock, a puzzler, really, I thought she would be a person who was kinder, really. That's when I started to mis-trust my T .. that happened over a year ago, and I still think about it, so I know it has a huge bearing on my therapy with him. I referred back to that meeting a few times, but I don't know if he understood its significance the same way I do now. I realize I could've been wrong, but my instincts for people are usually so good, and it's frightening that my instincts could be so wrong.
Because if she's a reflection of him ('cause I know that's how real love works, now, and no one can ever convince me I'm wrong about that, it's a soul-level knowledge) and she's a bit condescending, or mean-spirited somehow, that means he appreciates that and it's okay with him... we all take our partners into ourselves a bit... I believe..... it's why I'm not with my husband anymore, I fell out of love when I appreciated the differences and couldn't reflect back what he is. Same with daddy. I reflected him for 40 years, and hated every moment of it. And autonomy is realizing I'm NOT him, and I refuse to reflect himself back anymore. I rebel, rebel I am.
poster:Susan47
thread:445467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/448660.html