Posted by alexandra_k on January 28, 2005, at 22:40:58
In reply to Pain, posted by Susan47 on January 28, 2005, at 21:17:12
> What you said, alexandra, about not deserving pain and being allowed to feel good, well I need and I know this, I need to walk back through some pain before I can let it go.
Yeah, I understand. You are allowed to grieve, you need to grieve sometimes and that is ok. But you don't deserve any of that stuff that made you feel so bad. You don't deserve to feel in pain. It is okay to grieve and to cry and be sad when you feel that way. But there will be moments or days even when you feel happy too. It is ok to feel both. Just as you need to. Don't worry about holding on to it tight fearing or whatever the one day you think you have to let it all go. GG said to me over on psychology that it isn't about making the painful bit smaller by minimising it or whatever, it is about making the rest of you bigger. Well, she said her t told her that but anyway it is a great way to think of it. You will grieve some probably forever - but you can really expand the rest of you so that there is so very much more to you.
>it can't all be the stuff putting holes in my brain, can it?
Wellllll it sort of can. It can get you going round and round the circles in your head. It also numbs your emotions a bit Susan. It is harder to do the healing grief thing on drugs. Instead (in my experience) you get a painful non healing kind of grieving thing going on...
> If anybody sends me babblemail telling me to go to AA or the drug version of that (rehab?) then I'm going to spit nails.
I wouldn't dare :-)
I wouldn't inflict those on anyone :-)
Though the visual pic I get of you spitting nails is kinda interesting...Hang in there
poster:alexandra_k
thread:445467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/449478.html