Posted by Susan47 on January 26, 2005, at 5:10:36
In reply to Re: They have to Leave Because they don't have » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on January 24, 2005, at 14:04:48
Today, I was at the library.
I sat there for a while, listening to
Shania Twain with my headphones on,
reading Desmond Morris' The Human
Animal, and looking at the pictures,
analyzing them, really,
bopping a little bit to the music,
feeling high on endorphins,
and thinking about you.
And I realized that it was not a bad thing to feel good.
And I had a right to sit there, in the library, as long as I wanted to; no one would tell me to leave because I was people-watching,
and not out There putting out resumes for a pointless job I don't want; endlessly pounding dead pavement.This morning I wake at two and Cannot sleep
I pick up "The Divided Self" by R.D. Laing,
and I discover another world.
A world of kindness, understanding, and hope.
Phrases take on meaning as they stare up at me,
"....a rent in his relation with his world....
....a disruption of his relation with himself."
And I answer back, out loud, I'm much better now.Did I just say that? It hardly seems believable,
I don't believe in labels, I don't believe in diagnoses.
Especially because they're hurtful, and rude, and give no hope
To those who need it the most.
And I've learned that Hope is everything; nothing happens without hope; it's why some days I feel very alive.Is this the person I could not see, the one I couldn't trust,
is he a humanitarian?
Have I misunderstood his motives, his aims, his goals? Miscalculated his understanding of me?
Could I really do that to myself?
It hardly seems possible.
I try so hard to be humane to others.
poster:Susan47
thread:445467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/447949.html