Posted by alexandra_k on January 26, 2005, at 21:57:35
In reply to Re: They have to Leave Because they don't have, posted by Susan47 on January 26, 2005, at 5:10:36
> And I realized that it was not a bad thing to feel good.
> And I had a right to sit there, in the library, as long as I wanted to; no one would tell me to leave because I was people-watching,
> and not out There putting out resumes for a pointless job I don't want; endlessly pounding dead pavement.Good.
>
> This morning I wake at two and Cannot sleep
> I pick up "The Divided Self" by R.D. Laing,
> and I discover another world.
> A world of kindness, understanding, and hope.
> Phrases take on meaning as they stare up at me,
> "....a rent in his relation with his world....
> ....a disruption of his relation with himself."
> And I answer back, out loud, I'm much better now.I was at the library yesterday. Looking for something to distract me from my work. And what did I find but the very book you mention. I almost got it out, but after perusing the table of contents I figured out that I had already read it. Not that I remember much about it... Just that I liked it... But had no real desire to read it again. Funny, though, that we should both be looking at that.
> Did I just say that? It hardly seems believable,
> I don't believe in labels, I don't believe in diagnoses.
> Especially because they're hurtful, and rude, and give no hope
> To those who need it the most.Some of them.
I agree with you on some of them.> And I've learned that Hope is everything; nothing happens without hope; it's why some days I feel very alive.
Hope. Hope that things will improve. Though that can easily turn to 'wishing' without expectation.
Or faith, faith that things will improve. And determination to seek out and focus on what has improved... Of course both can be hard to summon...
> Is this the person I could not see, the one I couldn't trust,
> is he a humanitarian?
> Have I misunderstood his motives, his aims, his goals? Miscalculated his understanding of me?
> Could I really do that to myself?
> It hardly seems possible.
> I try so hard to be humane to others.You say that when you reflect on his goodness it makes you feel good. That when you reflect on his caring it makes you feel good. Have faith Susan. Take what you can.
Of course, ultimately you need to want to get better for you.
But in the meantime, in the meantime why not want to get better for an idealised memory?I don't know.
Works for me sometimes?
Have hope.
Have faith.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:445467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/448411.html