Posted by sunny10 on January 27, 2005, at 11:05:25
In reply to Re: They have to Leave Because they don't have » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on January 26, 2005, at 21:57:35
I love this conversation, too. Thanks, for pointing it out to me!
My old T told ME that whenever we "allow" ourselves to fall in love with someone that we cannot have, we are really just falling in love with qualities that we long for and already possess within ourselves, but for whatever "learned behavior/thinking" just don't think we possess or are capable of having.
Keeping that theory in mind, you may read MY interpretation, always with the knowledge that I am not a professional, but a well-intentioned friend who has been paying attention...
In my own words, in my own opinion (feel free to tell me to go stuff myself!)...
You talk about him having some kind a light force, a passion, a something-simply-indescribable in his eyes. I think maybe you see his goodness and caring and you think you are unworthy and incapable of giving and receiving this loving goodness and caring. I can feel YOUR light when I read what your postings. I feel that you are fairly exploding with the need to allow you to love yourself in the powerful, validating, way you allowed yourself to love your ex-T.
The way I see it, those boulders are shifting, hon. The new ones on the outside (feelings that you ARE worthy of loving yourself, that you are loving and loveable) are fighting with the old ones on the inside (old childhood feelings, usually- sometimes PTSD residue). Maybe with newT you can get rid of the outdated pressure from inside you to let the new self-love in. New T can help you with those things with which you will ACCEPT help, remember.
If you are capable of loving the ex-T soooo deeply, you are capable of loving yourself, too.
I really believe in you, Susan47. You have had SO much to deal with, but have been so strong and so loving for EVERYONE ELSE. At least try putting that much energy into working with the new T to let you love yourself.
There's also the theory that if you love yourself, you can love and let yourself be loved by the appropriate people for you...just more along the same lines as what I've written , but I'm SURE you want me to just shut up already!
poster:sunny10
thread:445467
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/write/20050118/msgs/448601.html