Posted by Larry Hoover on November 19, 2005, at 11:28:27
In reply to Re: attraction rather than promotion, posted by alexandra_k on November 19, 2005, at 3:28:03
> >It is SOME OF (not all of SOME OF) the stuff that is said in there that I am opposed to...
>
> and i shouldn't have said that...
> i don't think i should say i'm opposed to an ideal???
> it is just a common expression for me i suppose.
>
> you know... in reading the stuff... i see how it ain't that bad...
> just like the bible really...
> a lot of the 'problems' are in the interpretation
> or in the taking it too literally
> but then... how are they supposed to write it?
> i'm guessing they aren't really writing it to teach a philosopher about the nature of addiction...It's a true and difficult challenge to write what needs to be written. To anticipate the arguments that might come.
> it is just that i am an athiest.
> thats probably the biggest thing for me.
> i don't see what god has to do with it.Question: Do you have a spirit?
> i don't see that god has to have anything to do with it.
> and so...
> its not the way for me.It could have been. But not how it was presented to you, surely.
> but for a while there...
> because of all the stuff on how your doctor couldn't help you and your social supports couldn't help you etc etc and that is why you are here...
> well...
> i started to think that it was my last hope...
> and indeed they say they are there for people when they have exhausted their options.That's usually when people start turning to other people for help.
> but then when it didn't seem to be working for me...
> i did despair.
> and i got very afraid about how it was my last hope
> and it wasn't working for me.
> and much as i really struggled with it...
> really struggled very hard indeed...
> i couldn't bring myself to want to admit i was powerlessThat is indeed a difficult decision. But to make it does not mean to relinquish control. It's more like changing the subject. When you play the tape until the end, and realize that substance use isn't just about that first moment of altered consciousness, but also about coming to and not knowing where you are, or who is around you, or what you did. Or maybe worse, remembering the answer to all of those things.
So long as substances are part of your life, addiction is in control. So, you do something else. Stop wasting energy fighting, and use the energy in other endeavours.
> i couldn't bring myself to believe in a higher power
How about my idea of good?
> i couldn't believe in the steps
> i just couldn't do it that way...
> and i was so very afraid because i thought i had exhausted my options and what was i going to do???
>
> and what i did...
> i went back to university
> and because of that...
> didn't have time to hang around with my contacts anymore
> didn't really want to because there were other people
> other social supports
> and i didn't really talk to them about using
> because i didn't want them to know
> but i never managed to do that before...
> i really struggled so very much with stopping...
> promising myself
> and not doing it
> ugh.You did exactly what was needed. I'm sorry they made you do it alone.
> i also remember...
> being given a hard time...
> not being allowed to speak in the meetings
> because i was on a low dosage of valium
> for anxiety.
> that was considered a drug and thus i wasn't allowed to speak at naOkay, now I am pissed off. Thoroughly pissed. That is a direct violation of NA policy. Using medication as prescribed does not affect a person's clean time, and does not prevent them from sharing at meetings. Such individuals are encouraged to enhance their interactions at meetings, to maintain their connection with the process of recovery.
Here is the official NA policy.
From: http://www.na.org/basic.htm
NA as a whole has no opinion on outside issues, including prescribed medications. Use of psychiatric medication and other medically indicated drugs prescribed by a physician and taken under medical supervision is not seen as compromising a person’s recovery in NA.
From: http://www.markelliot.com/naillness.html
NA Approved Literature "In Times of Illness"
Medication in Recovery
Narcotics Anonymous as a whole has no opinion on outside issues, including health issues. We are concerned with recovery from the disease of addiction. Although our recovery is complicated when we experience disease or injury, this does not have to lead us away from recovery.
The ultimate responsibility for making medical decisions rests with each individual. If we choose to accept it, however, a great deal of support is available to help us make these decisions. For instance, we can practice the Twelve Steps, maintain frequent contact with our sponsor, write about our feelings and motives, and share at meetings. With the support of others in Narcotics Anonymous, we find the strength we need to make healthy decisions for our own recovery.
The use of medication in recovery is often controversial. It's good to remember that the Basic Text recommends consulting professionals concerning our medical problems. When we remember that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using, we as members can set aside our judgment of others. Clean time is an issue for each of us to resolve individually with our sponsor and our Higher Power. An attitude of judgment on our part could cause great harm to another addict.
I personally attended NA while using oxycodone, codeine, antidepressants, and tranquilizers. I knew that some of those substances were the drugs of choice of other members. I was very careful not to mention those drugs by name, and that's one of the reasons why we use the term "drug of choice". I did not mention my use of those substances until after I stopped using them, and only in one on one conversation after the meeting. That decision was mine, and mine alone.> and... i wasn't allowed in to another treatment program because they considered ALL psychiatric medications to be drugs and thus you had to be clean for one month before they would take you and... i lost the plot a little.
That is a separate issue, and I disagree with that position entirely. Dual diagnosis (substance abuse and mental health diagnosis) treatment centres are more challenging to run, I suppose, and it's easier for them just not to bother.
> sigh.
> doesn't matter now.It matters a lot.
> sorry i went off rather.
>
> still...
>
> something to think about.I'm sorry you didn't come to my NA meetings. The ones I know. I think you'd have found what you needed to make it work.
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:575263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20051106/msgs/580388.html