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Something you wrote a few days ago » antigua

Posted by vwoolf on September 21, 2004, at 14:24:45

In reply to Re: Why I think this is hard right now » partlycloudy, posted by antigua on September 21, 2004, at 12:41:55

Antigua, I have just been reading some of the old posts and a few weeks ago you wrote the following:

>>Drinking came up in therapy today (you must have been on my mind) and my T offered a whole other perspective that wouldn't have ever occurred to me. She said drinking was a way to identify w/my mother. A negative identification is better than none at all, she says. And here I always thought it was identification w/my father!

As is true w/so many people, my relationship w/my mother is very complicated. She doesn't know "me" and I'm always the perfect daughter. I would never confront or cross her because of abandonment issues. I know there's a lot of anger over her not protecting me when I was a child and I guess I'm going to have to deal with that. <<

I wonder if you could explain a bit more about what you meant. It resonates deeply with me, but I can't quite explain why. I have also always been the perfect daughter, would never confront my mother with her failings, have always protectected her as if I were her mother. But I don't understand the negative identification from that. Thanks.

VW

 

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poster:vwoolf thread:391514
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20040722/msgs/393377.html