Posted by Temmie on November 6, 2003, at 16:47:21
In reply to Temmie ... boundaries, posted by Medusa on November 6, 2003, at 0:53:14
I'm looking at how this "issue" here ... this situation I've been working through for the last year ... how it mirrors events of my childhood. My therapist this morning used an interesting phrase, "working in the service of mastery," which she described as Freudian in origin. Sounds good to me.
(Sounds more positive than saying I'm apparently doomed to keep repeating the same d*mn mistake until I get it right.)
BF called today. He had an A&B trial in MA, which I thought/he thought was going to be dropped, as the defendant has failed to show up for the last three court dates. Apparently there's a continuance. I don't know all the legal jargon, but I know what this means for BF. More ambiguity. Increased months of time with no structure. More free-floating drug-use. I feel compelled to advise him: (1) you life is in a state of disarray; (2) get some help, get someone to advocate for you, (3) go into treatment, etc. etc. etc.
It makes me sick with the recent windfall of $35K, he could have gotten a job at McDonald's for God's sake and bought himself a home.
He's too diseased to see that now (and now, the money is gone).
When we were together he was talking about going into dealing. I know what that means. There's no money. There's product available through wholesaling. In the meantime, he's picking at crumbs on the floor and spending 30-minutes or more at a time, in pursuit of "one good hit."
Apparently there's a lot of play involved with crack-use. You should see his hotel room. Propane torches going ("there kind of like candles"), pipes all over the place ... in the bathroom ... on the bedside table ... under the bed ... etc.)
There's a lot of fiddling around, and a lot of lost time.
My therapist said today, "What would happen if you just didn't call him back? Or take his calls?" I'm working on taking his calls ... but not placing any of my own -- and I'm working -- hard -- in the service of mastery to recover that lost, damaged little girl who was raped and beaten into submission as a youth, and hasn't apparently yet learned how to stand up for her own truth.
Thank you for your posts .... I appreciate the discussion of boundaries, and will be back soon. It helps me ... writing here. XXX, Temmie
poster:Temmie
thread:276317
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031014/msgs/277248.html