Posted by tabitha on May 18, 2004, at 12:16:21
In reply to Re: mother acceptance » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on May 18, 2004, at 11:23:25
inappropriate gifts make me hugely sad, too. They seem to say the giver doesn't know me, and/or doesn't want to know me, and/or refuses to know me. And/or I'm not worth knowing. And/or it's my fault, if I just tried harder, they'd finally see me. Yuck!
Body acceptance is so hard. I have a weird mirror relationship. Sometimes I look pretty and peaceful to myself. Sometimes I look horrid, old, mannish, fat. I just want to die. I tell myself it isn't nice to tell my little girl she's ugly, but that only seems to add guilt. Seeing pictures usually triggers the self-hate. I never seem to take good pictures. I tell myself the camera lies. Remember when I posted my picture here? I figured out that little pieces of my face were cute-- just not the whole thing. And, sadly, my mom had prettiness issues too. At her funeral some old guy said 'she was a pretty, pretty woman'. I thought that comment would please her more than anything anybody else said. Except of course it wouldn't have sunk in.
poster:tabitha
thread:348135
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/348183.html