Posted by sb417 on January 28, 2004, at 22:15:48
In reply to I would not do that, posted by PhoenixGirl on January 28, 2004, at 16:35:09
Hi Phoenix Girl. I agree with you. You should definitely not denigrate yourself or sell yourself short in order to be accepted by your co-workers. I read your post with interest because I have had similar problems in the past. Do you like the job? Is it a career-oriented job that you want to stay in, or is it sort of a stop-gap job that you plan to leave? One solution might be to try to find a job with a male supervisor and mostly male colleagues. Women can be very cruel to each other, especially when the jealous women are in jobs that don't contribute to their self-esteem. Sometimes people (and perhaps women more than men) take out their job frustrations and feelings of hopelessness on each other, rather than risk losing their jobs by expressing their anger at the boss or at management or "the system." I think it might help to look for a new job with more men. Also, sometimes the nature of the job can contribute to low morale, which again leads employees to take out their anger on each other. Is your job interesting and meaningful or is it "just a job"? When people are involved in interesting work that they love, they are less likely to focus on extraneous things like what their colleagues look like, etc. Further, it might be helpful for you to focus less on yourself. Although your co-workers may indeed be jealous of you, I believe that if you weren't there, they would probably give someone else a hard time. I think the problem has very little to do with you, and a lot to do with their own unhappiness with their own sorry lives. If you can look at it that way, and at the same time start looking for another job with better colleagues, I think your life and work will get much better.
poster:sb417
thread:306196
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/306715.html