Posted by fallsfall on December 1, 2003, at 15:56:34
In reply to Re: death, posted by geri122 on December 1, 2003, at 13:46:36
I'm glad you are thinking about telling your teacher. I really think that you can do it in a safe way where you are controlling who finds out and when. She sounds like a great teacher - I'm sure that telling her about it will only make it easier for you. Having someone close by who knows how the system works, and who will keep an eye on you (and give you a special smile that lets you know that she's cheering you on), can be really helpful.
Did you see your friend today at school? Does she know that things are harder for you now? Dealing with these things all alone is much harder than it has to be. We call it "isolating" when all you want to do is be by yourself and not let anyone know how you are feeling. I know that when I isolate I just keep reinforcing whatever is making me depressed. When I start talking with other people (particularly people who know me) they start to point out the things that I'm thinking that don't make much sense (like that no one likes me, or that I can't do anything right).
I'm sorry about your grandfather. It sounds like you were close. Did he live in your town? Did your family have any kind of anniversary rememberance for him? If you didn't, maybe you could suggest that you do that. Maybe you go to his grave and each say something that you liked about him, or make a scrapbook out of pictures that are scattered around your house (everyone keeps their pictures that way, don't they?), or ask people to write down stories about him and put them in a book. It is very hard when someone dies who you love a lot. It takes a long time to stop feeling so sad. Babble has a whole Board on Grief. I'm not a grief expert, so I'll let other people give you advice on how to deal with that!
It sounds like you have had some really special people in your life. It must be hard to watch your neighbor doing poorly. And to think of someone else living in her house. That makes is so you can't really pretend that she's coming back. Makes things feel kind of permanent. Can you visit her in the hospital? I bet she would like nothing better than that. Maybe you could even talk to her about your depression - I bet she would understand.
Sounds like you need to find someone who can help support you through this sad time when you are losing people who you love. No one will replace them, but I bet there are some people nearby in your life who can fill a niche you didn't even know that you had. Keep reaching out.
Are you sleeping better yet? I'm still not sleeping well, but my doctor gave me some meds that help me with that so I'm not so exhausted during the day. I still have to figure out what is upsetting me so much! That's a main job for tomorrow.
Please keep in touch.
poster:fallsfall
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/285610.html