Posted by fallsfall on November 30, 2003, at 22:27:26
In reply to Re: death, posted by geri122 on November 30, 2003, at 17:50:33
I asked if you were up at 3AM because I was up at 3AM, and I was thinking about you. We could have talked online. Lots of times when people are depressed (and distressed, as you are), they don't sleep well. I wanted to know if you were sleeping well, plus I could have used the company. I wasn't asleep because I have depression and I have a lot of stress right now, so I'm not sleeping well.
I'm glad you have a favorite teacher, and that you have had her for 2 years. That helps a lot. And if you think that she was one of the teachers who went to talk to your principal that is even better. You know that this teacher cares about you and wants to help. So you know that you wouldn't be "bothering" her if you asked to talk to her, right? Teachers who end up being favorite teachers are usually not teachers just because they get paid to do that. They are teachers because they like kids and they want to help kids learn and grow up. A teacher like that would be honored to be asked to help - it will make her know that she is really making a difference to one of her students. Since you said that she was your favorite teacher, I assume that you trust her. That if she promised you something that you know that she won't go against her promise. Is that true? Do you trust her?
What if you said to her "I have a problem, and I need some help. But I can't tell anyone about this problem because I'm afraid they will tell my parents and I am NOT WILLING to let my parents know about this. So that leaves me with my problem, but no one to help me with it. If I tell you my problem can you promise that you won't tell my parents? I know that there are some things that you are required by law to report - like child abuse, or if you think that a student is planning to kill somebody. Do you know of any OTHER things that you would have to report even if you promised me that you wouldn't? So if I tell you my problem and my problem ISN"T one of those things, do you promise that you won't tell ANYONE ELSE about my problem?"
You would want to make sure that she understands that you are going to expect her to keep her promise and keep your problem from your parents and from everyone else (including the principal and other people who work in the school). And that your problem is a serious one - that's why you are letting her know that there are things that she HAS to report by law (and that law would be stronger than her promise). If she's not sure what she has to report by law (it probably varies from state to state), then don't tell her until she has figured out what things she would have to report and has told you what they are.
Be sure to say that "the student is planning to kill somebody" exactly that way. From what you have said, you are not PLANNING to kill SOMEBODY - "somebody" does includes you, by the way. You are thinking about death, that is true, and even thinking that your own death might not be such an awful thing - but that is different than having a plan. A plan would be how and when and stuff. You haven't been thinking about how and when and stuff, have you? (If you have, then we need to talk more right away. There is a reason the law is written that way).
So, if you can honestly tell her that you are not planning to kill anybody, and she promises not to tell anybody unless you say it is OK - Do you think you could talk to her? It made me feel so much better when someone else knew. Particularly when that someone actually might have some idea how to help me so I wouldn't have to be so miserable. Please talk to her. You can bring your friend if that helps, you could ask your friend to stand in the hall so she would be there if you needed her. Your teacher will understand - teachers get all sorts of training on that kind of stuff. She won't think you are faking it or stupid or anything. She'll just want you to feel better.
Please try!
poster:fallsfall
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/285364.html