Posted by LynneDa on December 1, 2003, at 14:28:48
In reply to Re: death, posted by geri122 on December 1, 2003, at 13:46:36
Hi Geri - I'm sorry to hear your T-G wasn't all that great. Anniversaries are very difficult.
When you talked about no one caring if you died - that is a very lonely feeling and I can identify with it. But, is there a side of your brain, heart or soul that knows that is not true? I ask that because I've felt that way before and almost convinced myself of it many times. Please don't let that happen to you! What are your parents like? I don't know anyone as an adult that could ever get over the death of their child. It's an impossibility. You have so much ahead of you and as you reach out for help and feel better (& you will eventually not feel like this - it is just temporary!) you will find your thoughts and attitudes changing. It will be such a relief!!!
I agree with the Fallsfall - if you have a teacher you feel connected to, please go to her to talk. Teachers really are motivated by being able to reach out to the kids and make a difference. Don't forget that you are not the only person in your school with depression or other mental challenges - it won't be the first time she's heard it :-).
I know it's hard and you have to do this in your own time. It took me almost 2 years to go to my doctor and admit I needed medication, although I'd been in counseling off and on for years . . .and I'm 40!
You have lots of hormones swirling around in you, you have probably got some sort of chemical imbalance. It could be long-term, it might be temporary. But, it is not a short-coming in you, it is out of your control to a certain extent. It's not a problem you caused. You have to take control over the things you can and going to someone who can do something concrete for you is one thing you can definitely do. You can do it quietly, without a lot of fanfare; write her a note if you can't talk to her yet. Just think about it, okay???
Hang in there and keep writing so we know you're okay :-)
~ Lynne
poster:LynneDa
thread:284151
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/285583.html