Posted by octopusprime on October 8, 2003, at 23:29:06
In reply to I guess I'm not fixed and normal yet., posted by Susan J on October 8, 2003, at 14:54:16
hi susan j.
i'm going to be totally politically incorrect here.personally, i find it easier to start with somebody "safe" -- generally, i find myself going out with men with weight issues of their own. not obese, but chubby and not classically attractive. (since i find myself chubby and not classically attractive). you know, pick the low hanging fruit for a confidence boost. make sure the fruit is not so low-hanging that the guy is totally unattractive to you, though.
so maybe you can get him to send a pic first? assess whether or not you think the guy is "on your level" before risking yourself? sometimes men with weight issues have so many of their own body image perception problems that they just can't see your flaws.
also, if you or a close friend have good skills with graphic editing applications, that can help with the sending a picture thing. tightly crop the picture, so it's mostly your head. then work with the tools to even out skin tones, etc ... all the models do it, why shouldn't we?
all the other advice people gave out is good - work on your body issues, love yourself, blah blah blah, that's great. however, that whole process takes way longer than just getting a date.
i take the cynic's approach: have a stiff drink or two and aim low. admittedly this approach works a bit better irl in darkened bars than on the internet. if it's breaking the slump that counts, it doesn't necessarily matter how.
ok this sounds really depraved but i'm going to post it anyway as a counterpoint and food for thought.
ps - i agree that this makes you 100% normal susan!
poster:octopusprime
thread:266817
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/267037.html