Psycho-Babble Relationships | about interpersonal relationships | Framed
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We are out of the loop, and that's OK

Posted by ClearSkies on September 10, 2007, at 8:29:32

In reply to Re: I'm glad you're my friend » ClearSkies, posted by Kath on September 1, 2007, at 22:35:03

This is a good thing, too. My step daughter has a part time job bar tending. Free booze! She's living with her friend and baby sits her children during the day. The car is not functioning. She did get a pre-paid phone the other day, and called her dad to tell him, and to ask about getting her belongings moved to her. (He told her to look up a mover in the phone book and tell him when it's all arranged, and he'll pay for it. She makes the arrangements, though. Nice dad.) We haven't heard back since then. I think she was expecting us to move everything into our garage again, but we're not prepared to do that.

So, plus ca change, really. But we're exhausted from the last month's dramatics. I'm really proud of my husband and how he kept his boundaries firm, in spite of wanting to give in. I don't think that he'll continue counseling on his own without his daughter's participation. With her car not working, she's said that it's not possible for her to go, even though DH said that he'd pick her up and drive her back for the appointments. I don't think she's willing to listen and talk yet, either.

But I think that in spite of it looking like we're back where we started, that something critical happened here. Step daughter really tried to get what she wanted out of us (= money, unconditionally), and that didn't happen. New lines were drawn in the sand. They went to counseling for the first time, ever! Parent spoke to each other about their daughter's wellbeing; also a first! So I see many positives that came out of this upsetting carousel ride. Onwards.

cs


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poster:ClearSkies thread:778865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/781961.html