Posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2007, at 14:34:37
Helped step daughter make arrangements to get into a safe house today. She's been completely marginalized - no phone, no job, car barely working, no money. And her relationships with her family, me included, are frayed at the moment. We met for lunch to day (she showed up!! Big hurray!!) and I listened while she meandered through her very sorry story.
There's so much more going on here than just the unhealthy relationship with the boyfriend. Step daughter can't keep her stories straight, and tells completely different lies to *everybody*, right in front of us. No wonder they are all coming back to kick her in the behind no sooner than they leave her mouth. I wasn't sure I'd be OK to hear it all and not lose my cool. But I just listened, and didn't accuse. I expect that like peeling the layers off an onion, the other issues will surface.
We left her with plans in place - and that's all we can do. She can't stay with either us or her mom, because her boyfriend knows of both places and has already ambushed her once. (But she didn't call the cops, because why? She's not saying. She was with a friend who had a phone, but we think something less than legal was going on that they didn't want the police to see.) She's 25 years old, and she's the person who has to do the hard work, if she chooses to do it. Giving her love is the easy part. Watching her not love herself is very, very hard.
ClearSkies
poster:ClearSkies
thread:778865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/778865.html