Posted by karen_kay on August 31, 2007, at 11:22:36
In reply to But it doesn't ever end, posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2007, at 7:48:19
((((((((((((((cs, mister cs, and step daughter))))))))))
sweetie, this must be really tough, especially for you. i can't imagine the strain it's causing between you and mister cs's relationship. and the stress. (((((((cs)))) an extra hug, just for you!!!!
i don't think you're wrong. she's 25. she's an adult. a 10 pm curfew wouldn't do it, you know? someone would cave, sneak out, somethign would happen and it wouldn't be good. honestly, i'd think her moving in with you would jsut end the same way it did before, with more hurt feelings, ect.
sweetie, it soudns to me like she doesn't want to be anywhere that gives her the help and aid she needs that also comes with conditions (shelter, mother's, your house). and it seems you and dh have done nothign short of hand delivering her opportunities.
as harsh as my advice sounds, this is it... send her care packages with lots of food she can eat, things she can't sell for 'fun' (whatever her 'fun' consists of) money, if you know where she is, visit her often, take her out to lunch, set her up with therapy adn offer to get her a cab (not cab money granted, but a cab to take her to and from therapy.. also a good idea for job...) maybe a good idea for the car, but then again, she's 25 you know? are you going to be paying ehr insurance, fixing her car forever if she's not putting in the effort to find a job?
i'm sorry if this sounds harsh sweetie. but, later on, when she's really ready for help and shows she's serious about making changes, then you could talk about different conditons. i don't know if this is something you'd be interested in doing or not. i understand everyone needs help in life. but not everyone is willing to accept the help offered at the time. maybe she's just not ready yet dear.
take care of yourself sweetheart. and i'm here listening and thinking of you adn your family.
love,
kk
poster:karen_kay
thread:778865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/779952.html