Posted by ClearSkies on August 31, 2007, at 13:45:39
In reply to Re: But it doesn't ever end » ClearSkies, posted by Racer on August 31, 2007, at 12:49:54
> Because my Inner Pollyanna is screeching at me right now, I have to ask: do you have enough of a relationship with this girl to talk to her alone? Could you *ask* her what the problem is? Why she's so resistant to the help that's being offered? I know you know this, but I'll say it anyway: being careful not to show your judgment, of course. (Hey -- I'm judging her, and I haven't ever met her. If you *weren't* judging her actions, I'd wonder what you'd done with the real ClearSkies, you pod person!)
>:-( Unfortunately, from the family counseling that she and her dad have had (all 2 appointments' worth), she has said that she feels betrayed by me because of the time spent living in our home, when I blew up at her for not looking for work, for smoking dope in our house, for lying to me about every other thing that flew out of her mouth... yes. *She* feels betrayed. And that leaves me feeling - well, that the girl needs a mirror, but that she has to show up for the therapy appointments in order to SEE the mirror. And my therapist thinks that, given my step daughter's problems with substance abuse, and my not freshly-minted, but still fragile sobriety, that I'm not the right person to be holding that mirror up to her. With this I am in total agreement. I would love to be the role model for my step daughter, to be her confidante, to be her mentor; but instead I think I would be the thing or person that she'd most like to manipulate. And such a thing would most certainly break me. Actually, every time I've seen her in the past year, I get flash backs to the women that who had become my "friends" during one of trips through AA - women who very quickly abused my friendship once they got 1) the car ride they needed, 2) the money they needed to mooch, or 3) the exuse to give their spouse about who they'd been with.
Whoops, there I go again. I better stop.
cs
poster:ClearSkies
thread:778865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/779991.html