Posted by Dinah on August 31, 2007, at 11:48:28
In reply to Emotionally tapped out, posted by ClearSkies on August 26, 2007, at 14:34:37
I agree with Phil and Justherself. In the end, you and your husband have no power over her behavior. And if you have no power, there's no point in taking the responsibility on yourself.
She'll change if and when she's ready, and not one minute before, no matter what you do. KK's suggestions on how you *can* help her without compromising your own boundaries are good ones.
Believe it or not, I'm going through this with my mother. She only calls me about the stuff that's really hard to say no to of course. It's like the local government. She's not going to call to ask for raises for the city councilman, she's going to call about the crisis in the schools or the police department. It's really hard to help her get in touch with people who can help her instead of bailing her out myself. But if I bail her out myself, I'll be bailing her out till my own boat is sinking. That won't help either of us.
poster:Dinah
thread:778865
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/779963.html