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The stepdaughter story, contd

Posted by scratchpad on May 23, 2007, at 15:54:43

This is my life lesson in detachment. Standing by and not trying to Make Things Better (as if I could!). SD was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession, and obstruction of justice. She was sitting in traffic when she decided to light up a joint. A policeman on foot patrol knocked on her window... whereupon she abandoned her vehicle, running away. She was apprehended by mounted police (ok stop laughing now) and was cuffed in front of everyone else who was stick stuck in traffic, and taken away for processing.

Her dad says, "she has a problem." I say, maybe it's time for an intervention?, before she hurts herself or someone else? She already ran out of gas several weeks ago in the middle of the night during the week, and called her ex-boyfriend to rescue her, because she didn't want to risk calling the car rescue service, because she had been drinking. Then she put a restraining order on the ex-bf because he kept calling her.

I gave her dad the business card of a counselor who does interventions, recommended by my T. I have a copy of "Codependent No More" that sits, unread. I have one of the HBO DVDs of their excellent series on addiction. My husband suggested that I watch it while he is out of town this week.

So I'm trying to stay detached, and he's busy sticking his head in the sand. Can you say DENIAL? AVOIDANCE? It's making me so upset. I don't want to care. I want this girl to have an epiphany and realize that her life long ago spun out of control. She's an addict - I can recognize myself in her. It's breaking my heart. I don't think I can do anything else - I've put all the tools of help at hand and made all the suggestions I can. She and I aren't on speaking terms. She's not welcome in our home.

It's so sad. I can't stop worrying about it.

sp


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