Posted by zenhussy on June 21, 2007, at 16:57:28
In reply to Re: not getting anxious or worked up about it? » zenhussy, posted by scratchpad on June 19, 2007, at 7:38:56
>>>I'm doing OK, but my DH is getting himself tied up in knots over this. Father's Day, oy vey. She had "nothing planned" and was going to spend all day with us. Good thing we didn't wait for her arrival. Her phone wasn't working, so we couldn't get in touch; and she showed up, drunk, at 8:30pm with her latest boyfriend whom she plays chauffeur for.
Her phone has been turned off. She got a bill for $300 and she judged that it was too high. So she isn't going to pay it.
Zen, it's like watching a car wreck in slow motion. DH's heart is broken in two. I sit in the same room and try to remove myself emotionally. There's no point talking to someone who is drunk, just ask me. My obsessive thinking about her problems has subsided. What's left behind is a feeling of abject horror and pity.
Scratchpad<<<
it is so hard to see someone you love dearly and that your DH loves absolutely on the crash and burn path. it is like watching a car wreck in slow motion when a loved one can't/won't hear the pleas to stop and to get help.horror and pity. gosh scratchy that sounds rotten to feel like that but somehow better than being so immersed in the obsessive thinking. it is good you're not as attached and you're aware of things you cannot control as this situation will mostly likely continue with some fairly severe consequences...moreso that ditching the cell due to a $300 bill. collections will find her. sounds like stepdaughter has several more steps to stumble down before her personal bottom. = (
do whatever it is you do to keep your heart strength up and your spirit cleared and your mind rested. with that you'll be better able to help DH when [eventually] he lets go of the craziness his daughter has him caught up in.
so sorry. have watched loved ones do similar. fortunately one of those loved ones is doing well on road to recovery which really wasn't expected given the depth of the personal bottom they reached.
keep faith.
poster:zenhussy
thread:748692
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/764788.html