Posted by jacs on January 31, 2007, at 5:05:28
In reply to Don't worry about how much you write » jacs, posted by Honore on January 29, 2007, at 11:02:29
Hi, Honore
I just started classes yesterday....whew...already had to drop one. Just on overload.
Thank you ever so much for both of your very thoughtful and caring emails. Perhaps this man has been a catalyst to my dealing with my own painful past and that is not such a bad thing. But I spoke with a potential new therapist last night and told her I was not sure if I was feeling his loss or mine! I think both and it can be too much. Sibling loss there is very little written on it and minimal, if any, support groups. I was dumbfounded when I cam back here from Seattle ( I am in Massachussetts) to go to Hospice and they told me there was nothing....sibling loss...I was warned by a dear friend of my sister's before Diana passed away, this woman said the sibling is the "forgotten mourner' and she wanted me to know so I would have some preparation. She had lost a sister too. And she was not kidding.....everyone flocked to the husband, the daughter and my mother and the other parents and I thought "my God, I was with her always, where were you guys?" Not to be at center stage, but it was a loss for all of us! They were hardly there. But you know what, you are very right and I am grateful for all the time I got to spend with her as painful as it was, she trusted me with her life--she never panicked (when I always did) -- she always trusted and we were joined at the hip and I so miss her. It it just mind boggling to me that she is gone you don't expect to lose your siblings. You grow old together either getting along or fighting all the way, but you never, or at least I never thought, we wuld be separated the way we were.
I will see this guy I am dating maybe this weekend and I intend to have a talk with him. He knows something has been up.
You are very perceptive and smart. What was your major in college?
If I were not 45 years old I would not be dating this man. I can assure you. He is only 5 years older than me. His SECOND wife graduated from this college also. He did not meet her there I do not think.
I don't think of him as POWER, I see him as a human being who is vulnerable and who is also very aware about this dating students stuff....we had a long talk about it. I see him as a peer and nothing more or less. his credentials don't impress me. I am happy for him he has the work he does and he is very good at it, but he does not intimidate me. In fact I forget sometimes....that is how meaningless it is to me.I must get ready....I a weary ...up early and I am on medications ... new ones...and sleep very little and I am not ready for the day.
Thank you again Honore.
Touch base when you can.
Jacquie
poster:jacs
thread:726893
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/728352.html