Posted by Shortelise on November 14, 2005, at 13:48:09 [reposted on November 16, 2005, at 21:54:17 | original URL]
In reply to Boundary setting dilemma--Help!, posted by gardenergirl on November 13, 2005, at 22:37:46
You could keep your arms across your chest when he hugs you and not hug him back.
You could straight-arm him to the chest and say "no,Uncle Bob. No hugs today." Remember the "no means no" thing? You could use it as firmly as you might in the backseat of a Thunderbird.
You could straight arm him in the chest, say you're sorry but your immune system is suffering and you just must not get sick.
Who cares if he sees you hugging everyone else. Maybe he'll get the picture. And if he does, and says something, tell him the truth, that the way he hugs you feels however it is it feels to you.
The business I'm in is very kissy huggy, and extremely shallow. I hate it that I am expected to hug everyone, and I just don't do it. I shake hands with people. I do so warmly and with lots of eye contact. But I'm not going to hug people I don't want to hug. Ick, as you say.
Good luck with this gg. It's certainly a delicate matter!
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:579450
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/579461.html