Posted by alexandra_k on August 2, 2005, at 18:19:33
In reply to Re: Sex and other stuff I know nothin about (boring), posted by caraher on August 2, 2005, at 14:34:24
I think... That maybe for females having an orgasm does kind of require a surrendering.
To start to feel... merged. Or something like that. And then to go with that, or embrace it, or something... But then the going with it / embracing it isn't wholly volountary.
And whether you are able to do that or not probably has a great deal to do with feeling safe. Because you are giving yourself so completely to someone else.
And I think that maybe... Because our bodies ARE different... And because the natural course of things for guys IS faster than for girls (which makes evolutionary sense with respect to impregnating BEFORE the girl has had enough) then guys actually do have to put the girl first in order for her to get there...
And it can be so painful when guys just don't seem to care. Don't seem to care about that. About the girl. They don't seem to want that. What she can offer.
But I think that when the girl really does feel safe and cared about in general... Then encounters can sometimes be more guy oriented and its okay because she knows that he really does care about her as well.
Sometimes the boundary of what does and does not feel okay can change a bit depending on what things are mostly like...
Never say never I suppose...
And maybe thats why it seems like such a violation when the most intimate acts are performed for $$$ for the camera. So completely divorced from the context in which they can be beautiful.
I dunno.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:534819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/536820.html