Posted by caraher on August 2, 2005, at 14:34:24
In reply to Re: Sex and other stuff I know nothin about (boring) » alexandra_k, posted by Tamar on July 31, 2005, at 22:57:13
> if instead we think of sex as something broader than mere penetration I don’t think that time is really a factor. If both partners aim to please each other in various ways before penetration begins (or without penetration at all), there’s not necessarily any need for the guy to hold off.
...
I hate the word ‘foreplay’ because it seems to suggest that it’s an hoop through which to jump before you get the real thing.That's a really beautiful way of looking at things... that while there are discrete physiological events such as ejaculations, penetration and orgasms these all occur within a broader context that perhaps is better viewed as a whole. That broader perspective helps a lot in dealing with the inevitable "disappointments" that occur from time to time in a sexual relationship.
Though I have to say that I do "hold off" because I know my wife very much does enjoy penetration. Which doesn't contradict what you're saying, of course... but I guess is the complementary position (it's OK if he doesn't "hold off" and it's also OK to do so because on the whole it results in a more satisfying sexual relationship).
poster:caraher
thread:534819
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/536743.html