Posted by Mal on August 2, 2005, at 14:30:14
In reply to Re: Tamar and Alexandra, posted by caraher on August 2, 2005, at 14:22:54
> If he's anything like me he's not comparing. I understand feeling insecure about physical flaws but when I'm with my wife I focus my attention on what I see and feel that I *like*. And I think that's a pretty general "strategy" for maximizing enjoyment! (For enjoying *anything* - the one who picks at every minor flaw is known as a "killjoy" for a good reason.)
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> Then there's the "doing ALL THAT" factor. Sure, for the right price (or because of coercion in any of the many forms it can take in the sex industry) she'll perform certain physical acts before a camera. But even at our most animalistic we men have emotions as well, and know there's a world of difference between a mercenary (or victim) performing an act because she sees it as advantageous and less "spectacular" ones performed out of love.
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> And even at the most base level, at most porn gives him sound and a two-dimensional image of that woman. You are there in 3-D and more, body and soul, scent and touch, reacting to him in so many ways... there's no competition! It's the difference between eating a home-cooked meal and flipping through a culinary arts magazine!I had to laugh out loud at that great analogy! ANd yes, I know men can be sensitive and emotional. My husband isn't critical of me, other than gentle remarks meant to help me be a better or healthier person. All your points are perfect ones- no arguments here. But that isn't to say I'll never be self conscious again...
As always, your reply was thoughtful and tactful and articulate.
Thanks,
MAL
poster:Mal
thread:533956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/536740.html