Posted by Mal on July 28, 2005, at 7:38:26
In reply to Re: porn? » Mal, posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 22:11:00
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> yeah. i don't think most people think about that. if they did... they couldn't do it. or maybe thats just my hope. that if they did think about it that way then they couldn't do it. but maybe thats wrong :-(
> but what worries me... is why people don't see it that way. is it because they have never thought of it? what about when people do say stuff like this? is it that they don't want to think about it or what? kind of like how i don't think we should eat animals but i still do...Yeah, my husband and I have talked about it. I have pointed this out to him, asked him how he would like people looking at his sister like that. He responds something glib like, "THat isn't my sister, and my sister wouldn't do that. And besides, this is the way they earn their living." Your meat-eating analogy is probably about right, but I don't even think most people who "consume" porn think they shouldn't.
> im fairly liberal - though ive toned it down quite a bit after finding out what some of my limits are. finding out that its not about being a prude its about self respect. self respect is something that i still learn about...
>Thanks. SOmetimes I feel like I am too reserved. He tells me some of his fantasies and I just have to say,"NO WAY." But it IS really about self respect.
> i used to get into the 'friendly sex' thing... if i waited till i got married or was in a committed relationship then id still be a virgin and probably would be on my death bed... so i went into the friendly sex thing. and it was fairly much okay.
I went through a period of engaging in "friendly sex". Not the first time I had sex, but a couple of years afterward. It was never with "casual" friends, always with a guy I had a pretty intense friendship with. ANd like you, it was OK a lot of the time. But I was always the one who cared more, and would have gotten serious if the guy was interested. ANd so I was always the one who at least got disappointed, if not downright hurt. But I was very inexperienced then, and didn't enjoy the physicality of it as much then. It would have been MUCH more difficult and complicated, I think, if I had been more mature.
Thanks,
MAL
poster:Mal
thread:533956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/534675.html