Posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 22:11:00
In reply to Re: porn? » alexandra_k, posted by Mal on July 27, 2005, at 21:07:12
> I am so glad to know someone else doesn't get it.
and so am I :-)
>I just think about the PERSON in the photo or movie... That is someone's son/daughter/brother/sister. And if you have ever looked at biographies of some porn stars, a lot of them seem to be miserable.
yeah. i don't think most people think about that. if they did... they couldn't do it. or maybe thats just my hope. that if they did think about it that way then they couldn't do it. but maybe thats wrong :-(
but what worries me... is why people don't see it that way. is it because they have never thought of it? what about when people do say stuff like this? is it that they don't want to think about it or what? kind of like how i don't think we should eat animals but i still do... i don't know. i feel sick when i think of what people do sometimes. i know some people rationalise it by quoting the people who say they enjoy being a porn star or whatever. but i wonder how much they reflect on what a wonderful life they lived later. i wonder if on their death bed they still feel the same way. i don't know. i don't know...im fairly liberal - though ive toned it down quite a bit after finding out what some of my limits are. finding out that its not about being a prude its about self respect. self respect is something that i still learn about...
i used to get into the 'friendly sex' thing... if i waited till i got married or was in a committed relationship then id still be a virgin and probably would be on my death bed... so i went into the friendly sex thing. and it was fairly much okay. i felt okay about it mostly. learned about my limits with self respect though. and then i noticed... that sometimes it all seemed fine... and at other times i did not feel right about the situation. i did not feel right. and i couldn't predict what the difference was. i didnt'know which way it would go. and i don't think it was that he was any different. it was me.
so i stopped with that.
and i have just realised... that that only worked as well as it did because those guys did want more. they did want to have a proper relationship with me. they just didn't push me there and thought id come around and were accepting when i didn't. one of them told me this the other day. and i realised. that was probably the case with all of them. and its not fair to do that to somebody and i wouldn't have done it if i had known how they really felt. but that was probably what made it feel okay as much as it did. because they did really like me and care about me and respect me.
why does everything have to be so complicated????
sorry for the ramble....
poster:alexandra_k
thread:533956
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/534532.html