Posted by Susan47 on July 3, 2005, at 12:41:04
In reply to Re: living with/ loving someone whos suicidal, posted by portage on July 3, 2005, at 0:43:41
What you say resonates with me because I'm the depressed mom and my 21 year-old son could almost be you. I know he has the same issues with feeling responsible for my happiness. I wish I could tell him that what would make me happiest is seeing his own success in life, seeing him happy, knowing I didn't pass on my depression. Because my father passed his on to me, and my mother passed on her OCD and anxiety... I've been a mess most of my life, and tried to hide it from my son. Your mother, if this is new behaviour for her, may be going through a watershed time ... if this is the first time she's apologized and held you this way, in regret and sorrow, it may be the start of a change, for her. I don't know, you haven't said if this has happened before, I don't think. But I concur with Daisy that it might be a great idea for you to seek therapy just to deal with this; my son was angry with me for a long time for suggesting he may have problems with depression. But he did agree in the end that seeing a therapist might be a good thing, even for just the little things in life that are niggling concerns. You don't have to be majorly depressed or dealing with anything huge to see a therapist. But you are dealing with something big, you know. You are. I hope you feel closer to your mum, not afraid of her moods. You're not responsible for her, I hope you know that too. Let your dad be the one she leans on. You don't have to be that person. From my own experience, I can say that seeing my son happy and independent and free is one of my greatest sources of joy. Take care of yourself, keep posting if it helps ...
poster:Susan47
thread:522890
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/522930.html