Posted by fallsfall on July 3, 2005, at 9:39:44 [reposted on July 3, 2005, at 10:57:29 | original URL]
In reply to Re: living with/ loving someone whos suicidal, posted by portage on July 3, 2005, at 0:43:41
You have a loving mother. And she has a very loving child. What a blessing for you both!
Speaking as a mother with depression (disabled for 8 of the last 10 years), what I need most from my children is to know that they love me, and to know that they will go about the business of growing up. Sounds like you tell her that you love her. She is lucky indeed. Do your "growing up" thing. That includes making decisions she doesn't approve of, and bucking the system to a degree. You need to do those things to grow up, and she understands that. If you feel that you have to be too "good" because she has difficulties, then you won't get what you need to get out of growing up - and she will (correctly) feel that she has held you down.
The best thing you can do for your mother is to live a good life for yourself. The old saying "Make your mother proud" really does apply. This is how you can show her that she really has done a good job.
Try to remember that you are her child, not her husband, not her therapist, not her friend. She has those other kinds of people - from you, she needs you to be her child (her mature and growing up child).
She is a lucky woman. Best luck.
poster:fallsfall
thread:522890
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/522897.html