Psycho-Babble Relationships | about interpersonal relationships | Framed
This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | List of forums | Search | FAQ

Re: Careful this is expl. could trigger I suppose? » Susan47

Posted by Larry Hoover on June 5, 2005, at 15:38:20

In reply to Careful this is expl. could trigger I suppose? » 10derHeart, posted by Susan47 on June 4, 2005, at 12:24:21

The first time I read this, this word jumped out, and I misread it. See if you can guess what word I *thought* it was....

> No, my first reaction to what you're writing now is no, I'm not fearful, but then I make a big chain, you know, a heavy chain with huge, heavy steel links, it's a link from the **dock**

I guess the word penis does have a lot of power.

> to the ship ... when I was three we "came to America" ... I remember a huge ocean liner, with big anchors in front, and a huge wooden dock, empty but for some few tiny humans ... I remember the solidity of the dock beneath my feet, I remember some huge emotion, my father's excitement ... a smell of ocean .. it was Hamburg ...
> Whew.
> Don't know why I just went there. I haven't remembered this incident so clearly, so freely, in my life. I remember this.
> Oh yes, penises. Lovely, lovely hard and soft hot and mellow things .. attached to a mind, attached to strength, attached to me ... hmh. No, not attached to me, but inside me, somewhere ...
> Okay.

I'm a little suprised....maybe only a little...at how much has been evoked by my use of the word. You see, it's the only aspect of my maleness that I was born with. All the rest I developed. My secondary sex characteristics, and especially, my male social behaviours, came after. So, I think of the penis as the basic maleness, and I use it as the primary symbol, when I want to strip away all the other aspects of male identity.

Not to say I haven't learned things about penology (I'm sure there actually *is* a "study of the penis and how it employed") over the years. <heh>

> Yes, I suppose somewhere inside me is a fear of men's sexuality. I want to find it beautiful, I want to find my own beautiful.

That was sweetly said.

> Maybe the fear is that it's not acceptable?

The very idea of that disturbs me, somehow, that you might have such a fear.

> I think my parents were really really sexual, even in front of us, Well, I think about the way they were and yes, they really were in some ways.. they were sometimes pretty disgusting about it, in my little mind .. but I don't know why I think that, except when I think they didn't like to see anything sexual about us, or maybe it was that they did, you know, and they laughed at it.
> Or something.
> Something.
> Wish I knew, think it might not be important to dissect, you know but I have this feeling that my subconscious isn't going to let it rest.

My gut reaction to your revelation is that it is very important to understand this ambivalence. I think a great deal of importance bears on this ambivalence.

Somebody taught you to think of yourself as disgusting in a sexual context. (Oh dear, I hope that doesn't sound harsh. I'm restating what you just said, I think.)

> It never does.
> I try, but I have this really strong subconscious mind.
> Whew.

What do you gain from suppressing this?

Tenderly,
Lar

 

Thread

 

Post a new follow-up

Your message only Include above post


Notify the administrators

They will then review this post with the posting guidelines in mind.

To contact them about something other than this post, please use this form instead.

 

Start a new thread

 
Google
dr-bob.org www
Search options and examples
[amazon] for
in

This thread | Show all | Post follow-up | Start new thread | FAQ
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Framed

poster:Larry Hoover thread:500245
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/508031.html