Posted by jlynne on November 5, 2004, at 14:46:39
In reply to Re: Didn't I ask a question? » jlynne, posted by sunny10 on November 5, 2004, at 14:16:57
>(The only part of the article that I didn't like was the example of the man who was "reacting with empathy"- bull**t. It takes two to be in a relationship, be it a healthy on or an unhealthy one.)
>Sunny, I think the empathy example is meant for both partners to relate to - feeling safe is critical on both sides.
Perhaps you could print the interview and ask your SO to read it and tell you what he thinks. The principles of Hendrix theories are good, solid stuff, and I know that I can apply them to my own life with or without Ron's help, but in order for our relationship to remain healthy I do believe that it does take two . . . and so does Ron.
I would encourage you to read the book, anyway, even if SO doesn't want to. As you read and gain insight, you will be able to share it with SO and possibly spark his interest in the partnership. Ron read the book long before he ever met me, and he has been able to initiate significant changes in his own life on his own already.
The insights that I have gained were facilitated by Ron's being able to understand and relate the principles to me - I hadn't read the book when I began experiencing the changes in myself. Ron created a safe environment for me to take the risks, and in turn I have been able to offer him the same. Agreed, if I hadn't grasped the concepts, there would have been a dead end, but Ron did his homework, it made sense to me, and now we are both on the same journey, as equals.
We are now reading "Keeping the Love You Find", by Hendrix, which is the same principles but tailored for singles looking for a lasting relationship. You should be able to find either book used on Amazon in paperback - we got it for $1.99.
Good luck, Sunny - I am pulling for you.
. . . jlynne
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/412257.html