Posted by AdaGrace on October 14, 2004, at 21:46:55
In reply to Re: Affairs - Please help; responses needed, posted by dazedandconfused on October 14, 2004, at 21:20:46
Dear Dazed,
You are not the only one who has done something like this.
I did it all. I paid for a background check and found nothing new. I found the link to the local newspaper where he lived, so I could keep up on the everyday life where he lived. I even found the web site of his how town and it had a web cam of two major streets in the town. Can you believe I actually spent several minutes several times watching to see if I could see his vehicle. I traced his family history. I searched the vital records in his home county. I even resorted to looking through the local phone book page by page to find his friends and ex's, I got through the g's before I gave up. I never knew his friends last names but I was just sure if I looked I would find them. OF course it didn't happen. I have felt like such a stalker. I can't believe the things I have done and it did no good. I've lost him and I am empty inside because of it.
I don't know what to tell you, other than I feel for you, I really do. My affair did have intimacy. People don't believe in phone intimacy, but it's posible, and we had that, as well as the real thing. It was the closest I was to exctasy in my entire life. I actually had made love for the first time in my life. Before was merely sex. I know that now. I really know that. I have lost the one person in my life that really really meant the world to me and I am devestated and so very empty and alone.
You say that your husband is good to you. That is a plus, but why do you stay? It seems that you are not in love with him, maybe I am wrong. I am not in love with mine anymore ....if I ever was. I stay because I am affraid of the outcome of hurting others. My children would be devestated, and the only one time I really wanted to leave was for this other man. He doesn't want me now, so I don't really know what to leave for now. Pathetic, I am. I am so sorry that you are going through the same thing that I am. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Keep in touch with me......let me know how things are going for you......
poster:AdaGrace
thread:403066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/403174.html