Posted by moime on October 14, 2004, at 20:36:56
In reply to Affairs, posted by dazedandconfused on October 14, 2004, at 16:29:36
> I believe this is the first thread I have ever started. I have really gotten a lot out of this board and hopefully get some support on this subject.
>
> Brief background. Married 9 years. Lifetime depression. Highly functioning until about five years ago. Got a great job six years ago. At same time got a lot of attention from someone at work. He was bigtime senior managment, I was just a worker bee.
>
> This relationship never really went anywhere physical. Mostly email and phone. Tried to break it off after a few months. But I kept going back. Again and again. Truly addicted. Laid off after a year. Nervous breakdown ensued. Still not the same...Five years after the layoff.
>
> I have done everything...therapy for four years, written letters, EMDR. I have not worked for almost five years. Thankfully don't have to and don't really want to...always hated my jobs. But I think I probably have to go back to work at some point to regain some sense of self-esteem. And I have gone over 1 year at a time without contacting this person, but I always go back. Its truly an addiction. Makes me feel better for awhile, but always worse afterwards. Especially when he rejects me, which is the current stage we are in.
>
> Someone please tell me I will get over this fully. I truly want to recover but the guilt (I have a wonderful husband) has nearly destroyed me. Despite the fact that nothing really ever happened.
>
> Help,
> dazedAll these years and no physical intimacy or was there and you can't forget it? All these years and no commitment? What is it that is fulfilling? Gosh, I don't understand...yes, it is an affair, but he must not think he is having an affair, he must be some kind of a perverse controller, if he leads you on then rejects, leads you on then rejects...no wonder you are so depressed. At least you recognize it as an addiction...but it sounds like an obsession. I hope I don't sound cruel, because Lord knows I am not a professional, but THIS GUY IS...sounds like he has some psychiatric training if he can keep reeling you in like this. Good luck, remember...you CAN break free of it....be your own master...if I can do it, anybody can!
poster:moime
thread:403066
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/403147.html