Posted by floatingbridge on August 19, 2011, at 10:39:07
In reply to Re: Transference and why some alliances go bad? » floatingbridge, posted by mellow on August 17, 2011, at 2:56:52
Thanks for explaining some of your experience, mellow. Sounds like you do have a good therapeutic alliance with your therapist. She sounds upbeat herself, I don't know. I'm glad you were able to share some of that darker stuff with her. I find it's a great feeling when the other person doesn't flinch. I spend a lot of energy protecting my familymfrom the flotsam and jettison in my head.
In my old (the broken) alliance, there was a lot of tortture I endured, self inflicted because I wanted things resolved that session and would be disappointed. I was, I think, a very,very *needy* client in the first two years. It's wicked painful, and I did throw all sorts of stuff at my pdoc/t, though being who I am, it was internalized mostly. Things might have worked out better had I actually said more. Though we used to laugh about how I did tell him once I didn't think he could be my therapist because he drove a Lexus (do I have class issues?).
As time passes, I am tending to see that in some ways, this pdoc was controlling and maybe not so well himself, as you commented about an experience of your own. I am slowly movingmout of the shame place. My new therapist is already helping by just validating. She let me know that if I wanted to talk about my experience with this last doctor, she wouldn't consider me someone who walks around blaming other people and talking trash. So I did end up talking about him, and I did feel better. Because it really was so confusing.
Thanks mellow.
I dig a pony.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:993914
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/994296.html