Posted by lucielu2 on August 17, 2011, at 2:44:25
In reply to Re: The unraveling of a long term relationship » lucielu2, posted by annierose on August 16, 2011, at 19:39:22
I should add that soemthing similar happened to me a few years ago. A confluence of events left me feeling deeply and profoundly abandoned. In reality, my T had simply left for his vacation. I don't know what I expected from him but at the time - other things were happening in my life to contribute to this - I felt like he was leaving me on the operating table after I was opened up. It took me years to get over the terrible feelings I experienced at that time and my reaction to those events. And for years, I would refer to those feelings, in sort of a shorthand, as "remember when you left me" and then we would focus on the feelings of abandonment themselves. He never admitted to wrongdoing though he listened to my phrasing things in that way. And then finally one time, last year - we are going on 9 years - he said something a little impatient that I interpreted as a gentle "get over it." And I realized, yes, I did have to get over it. And I also realized how my maturity had grown, that I could finally accept being deeply disappointed by someone I really cared about. And in an odd way, by recognizing the imperfection of our relationship, it felt more real and that made me feel even more secure in it and in myself.
poster:lucielu2
thread:994034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/994083.html