Posted by lucielu2 on August 8, 2011, at 1:18:31
In reply to Re: help - feels like an impasse, posted by emmanuel98 on August 7, 2011, at 19:06:19
Emmanuel, I think you are right to focus on your faith that the relationship with your daughter will improve again when she's out of this stage and on to the next. Who knows, that may be prompted by another external life change for her, maybe children of her own :-) But you have been very close, so you will be again. I can empathize with your and your husband's current pain and frustration, though, as she moves through another step in her life where she seems to feel less close.
I'm realizing that I'm feeling insecure about this relationship. It has not been an easy one and yet my daughter has said that she feels that it has been a close one. I feel that for the first time, that closeness is going to be tested. When they are young, dependent, and under your roof, the closeness is there, for better or worse. But then when they move out on their own, they actually have a choice! That our older daughter chose to remain close is the product of an easier relationship (she was a quite different child). I'm waiting to see what sort of person our younder daughter will turn out to be and how the relationship will be, and I feel insecure. What I am getting from you and other posters is that the transition itself will not necessarily be the defining moment of our relationship, we have time.
poster:lucielu2
thread:992867
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/993142.html