Posted by backseatdriver on March 10, 2009, at 15:44:58
In reply to I Feel So Weird, posted by backseatdriver on March 9, 2009, at 22:23:38
I knew I could count on the folks in this forum. Thank you all so much! Especially for the reassurance about the guilt I am feeling. There seems to be agreement that it's okay, that it's not (or not only) me, and that bringing it up in session might be really good.
A few things have popped out at me:
-- Yes, I do enjoy this attention. And yeah, it is normal and probably inevitable given the situation.
-- I am struck by the idea of a "honeymoon" phase in therapy. I like this idea very much, and also I like the idea that he's probably seen it before, and that it's okay to enjoy it. We've had a little stormy weather already. Maybe this is just our dynamic, a little rain, a little shine.
-- I was reading Hans Leowald's "The Waning of the Oedipus Complex" today and one of his points is that guilt is a normal part of development. In particular it is a normal part of the developmental stage that my mother completely hijacked. The trick, apparently, is to stay in touch with the luscious primitive preoedipal wonderfulness while not actually sleeping with my mother-therapist.
Who may actually want this but, as many of you pointed out, he should hold the line. I believe I need to let go and trust him on this. Which ought to be an interesting exercise. Guess we'll see how it goes (!). I tend to be more parentified and responsible than I need to be. Which gets back to the guilt stuff.
I adore you all. So much gets clarified for me here.
BSD
poster:backseatdriver
thread:884680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884751.html