Posted by seldomseen on March 10, 2009, at 14:28:14
In reply to I Feel So Weird, posted by backseatdriver on March 9, 2009, at 22:23:38
I think therapy is a very intimate situation, especially for the client. All kinds of feelings can get stirred up, and naturally some of them may be erotic in nature. These feelings are normal in all other intimate human relationships, why should the therapeutic relationship be any different?
In fact, I would argue that these feelings in the therapeutic relationship are beneficial - especially when discussed, because they may give the therapist clues as to how we form relationships and trust and what issues we have along the way. Those feelings can exist in that room, be discussed and no one has to be hurt by them.
I know it's harder said than done, but there is no reason to feel guilt over feelings. The therapeutic space is designed to "hold" them for discussion. There are bounds of behaviour in good therapy that protect both the client and the therapist.
I think other than just verbally abusing the therapist, ideally the client should be able to express anything that he/she feels about the therapist without fear of hurting/damaging the relationship. Likewise the client should feel absolutely positively sure that the therapist will never react in a sexual manner to anything the client may express. That security, though, takes time and testing to develop I think.
Of course, these thoughts are coming from someone in long term therapy who has, for lack of a better phrase "been there, done that" and who keenly realizes that exploring those feelings can be very painful. When these feelings do exist in the room and are left unreciprocated (or worse, reciprocated but frustrated) then there is a lot of pain associated with it. It's a lot to work through.
However, for me the payoff was incredible and the safety I feel with my T has been the springboard for so many other meaningful relationships in my life.
Seldom.
poster:seldomseen
thread:884680
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090227/msgs/884745.html