Posted by fayeroe on January 7, 2009, at 11:09:56
In reply to Hard to eat when I'm upset » fayeroe, posted by Kath on January 7, 2009, at 10:13:22
> >
> > You can have hundreds of hugs. I'd give you all of those that I received during my "teen nightmares" and more! And sour cream cookies and Stash Earl Grey tea.
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> ~ ~ oh that'd be nice :-)
> > An orange isn't enough, my dear. Protein, protein, protein and some carbs.
>
> ~ ~ It's SO hard for me eat when I'm upset. I think that stems from CSA. Anyway, I just realized that I have a big jar of mixed nuts & dried fruit & I think I could manage to nibble at that during the day. I always find it odd that while so many people eat a lot if they're upset, I find it very hard to eat.I understand about eating. I might eat one meal a day...sometimes only a smoothie. Part of it is finances but the major reason is that I'm not hungry.
The dried fruit and nuts are really good for us. You can be lost somewhere and have that and water and survive for ages.
Remember to stay hydrated!! Very important. I forget to drink water. It even helps us mentally to stay "wet".
> > You need her. I'm glad that that resource is available..there really isn't anyone like that in Oklahoma. We have them in Texas though.
>
> ~ ~ Were you in Oklahoma during those hard years? Pointless to wish, but I wish it was over at the end of teens...my son is almost 25!Yes, we were in Oklahoma during the crazy years. Two on pot, one on speed and one on both speed and pot. (We weren't aware at first about that stuff) Then "graduated" to other things and that is when the whip started cracking and the realization sank in that being irresponsible meant no home, no money and no car.
Our youngest dauaghter's counselor got her to run off with him to Kansas and we followed them and got his license yanked FOREVER. He was prosecuted also by the law. She was underage. 16. He worked for a halfway house, part time, and we got that license revoked also. It was hell!
But, you just plant your feet solidly on the ground and decide how much of your life are you going to continue to give to these kids and how much will you keep. You gave birth, you nursed them and clothed and changed diapers and so it went for years. Turning them loose is the next step. At 25, he's an adult. He KNOWS he has it made right now.
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> > Always, Pat
> >
> > Where were you at your son's age?
>
> Oh, I had a steady job; had lived & worked in England for a few months but had to come home due to my Mom being sick with cancer. I didn't really get into partying & drugs & stuff. Used pot & hash a little bit for a while. Tried LSD twice. Didn't really drink. My life was totally different from his, so it's not as though I can think, "well, I got through it".Using the fact that your life was different from his is no excuse for his behavior now. My life was different than my kids and look how they behaved. Their "babydaddy" rejected them when he met his second wife and her daughter. They were molested. We are the adults. Your child isn't going to become an adult if you don't facilitate his taking responsibility for his life. Frequently, mostly, it is a painful thing. I pretty much believe in "no pain, no gain". It killed us to do what we did for the children. Made them grow up! Then, we came alive again. :-) We just drummed up the resolve and did it. Al-Anon was a huge factor in realizing that we could not live their lives.
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> How are you doing Pat? I am so self-absorbed! Sorry I didn't even ask you before.I'm okay. Not working and still fighting depression 24/7. Pain is better since I started on the Buspar. I'm getting by. Lonely as hell. I realized last night that I have 6 friends. Three in Texas and three in Oklahoma. A nephew and his wife in Arkansas that are becoming close and that makes me very happy.
Enough of that.
How are things today with son?
xoxo pat
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> luv, Kath
>
>
poster:fayeroe
thread:872385
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872581.html