Posted by lucie lu on December 27, 2008, at 1:18:40
In reply to Re: Grief » antigua3, posted by Kath on December 26, 2008, at 19:50:44
> It is hard seeing our kids live differently from how we expected. It's hard for me to see my 32 year old daughter being so ill...and my 24 year old son have mental health issues triggered by substance abuse.
>Kath,
After I posted, I wondered if it might not have seemed insensitive to you. My heart really goes out to you. I do know, at least on some level, how that stuff feels. When our older daughter, who is doing so well now, was in high school she was hospitalized for depression. High school was a misery for her and early college wasn't much better. Our younger daughter has had her own problems, including a serious school phobia that had her out of school for a year. She now goes to a special school. We hope she's on track, but she's still not out of the woods.
When you've had a kid "in the system" (e.g. serious mental health problems), it seems you can never relax even when they are doing well. And, of course, when they are not doing well, it is agonizing. One thing I know is how alone you feel with your kids among a world of "normally-functioning" kids and families. When we started meeting parents of other students at the special school our younger daughter attends, one thing that was so striking was that all the parents had had the same experience of feeling like they were struggling alone before their kids changed schools. Have you tried meeting up with other parents in similar circumstances? I can guarantee they're out there, that other families are going through similar pains as yours (although no two experiences are completely similar), although it may not be easy to find them. If you could though, maybe it would help at least overcome the awfulness of feeling so alone and coping with such major problems.
I hope things turn out OK. Maybe it's just my advanced age (lol - not 101!) but even kids in their 30s still seem like kids. I never give up hope that things will change for the better. In the meantime, you need plenty of emotional support, Kath. And in addition to the cyber-caring and support we can send you, I hope you can find RL support out there too. You need and deserve it.
(((((((((((Kath))))))))))))
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:870414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870984.html