Posted by lucie lu on October 29, 2008, at 11:55:02
In reply to Rupture in therapy (long), posted by Wittgensteinz on October 28, 2008, at 20:09:25
Witti,
No wonder you have needed support and comfort from this board. What you are describing sounds incredibly painful. Few things hurt more than a rupture with someone we care about. Especially a rupture than is not being repaired.
Witti, no matter what the circumstances were surrounding the contract and the attempt (and I feel very sad that you were feeling so desperate and in pain back then), the ultimate responsibility for healing the rupture is his, as the professional. From everything you describe, he has been unable to deal with his own feelings. No matter how justifiable his feelings might be, and how human not being able to handle them is, he is making IMO a serious professional error, and one very hurtful to you and to your relationship. He should not be denying his feelings and letting them leak out as they have into your therapy. This is hardly therapeutic! When a T cannot handle his/her countertransference and it impacts the therapeutic relationship negatively, I think he/she is ethically required to seek consultation, at the very minimum. Perhaps he is. It does seem not very ethical though to repeatedly lie to a client who repeatedly picks up and questions the countertransference. He may feel that you are at fault for breaking the contract but two wrongs do not make a right and he is the professional here not you.
Witti, I am very glad that you just started seeing a pdoc that you feel you can relate to and who is supportive of you. My advice would be to discuss this with your pdoc. I am afraid that if your current therapy continues as it is now, unresolved, it is likely to be more harmful than helpful. Perhaps your pdoc can speak to your T, who hopefully will be candid about his feelings to another professional if not to you? Your pdoc sounds like he would act in your best interests.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
(((((((((((Witti))))))))))
Love, Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:859655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859721.html